Ghosts
by Indus
Summary: This is Remus/Sirius slash, but more of a small look at what it is like to visit your childhood, especially when most of your friends are gone. Post-second war. Complete fic in one part


Ghosts  
  
By Indus  
  
Summary: A Tour of Hogwarts after the end of the second war.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters and events belong to JK Rowling, Warner Brothers and whoever publishes the books. Any original characters or situations are open to the world. No copyright infringement is intended and this is for non-commercial uses only.  
  
Warning: Slash  
  
Rating: R  
  
  
  
[Ghosts.  
  
I knew this would be a difficult journey, haunted by ghosts.  
  
Not the Peeves kind, but the ones that exist in your head and no one else sees. But my lover sees them, I'm sure. He is standing next to me, and I can see a small twitching in his jaw, which is a sure sign of tension. His eyes are roaming; does he see and hear them like I do?  
  
This was all his idea. Remus Lupin, werewolf, member of the Order of the Phoenix,on-and-off Professor of the Dark Arts, now takes on the title of therapist. He thought this would be good for us, so he arranged with Headmistress McGonagall that no one disturb us on our trek through these hallowed halls of learning. It wasn't too difficult since this is the summer.  
  
So here we are. We started in the Great Hall. It's a little depressing when it's empty, but it isn't empty now. There are so many children here. Some of them are just figures, without faces. I guess there were too many students for me to commit all their faces to memory, but I am sure someone, somewhere remembers them.  
  
But then there are the familiar. Greasy Snape, whispering slyly to Lucius Malfoy while they eat good food. I can smell the food and hear the whispering, but now both those boys are dead, after fighting on opposite sides of the war. Oh, there's Arthur Weasley, with his girlfriend Molly at the head of the table. Arthur was a prefect in his seventh year, when I was a first-year. And then there are Frank Longbottom, Althea Bones, John Weasley… The list went on and on. So many of those people were killed or had their lives destroyed by Voldemort.]  
  
But Sirius' attention was caught by a certain group on the Griffindor table. They always sat in the same positions, James and Sirius across from Remus and Peter. For the first time, Sirius allowed himself to see Peter as he had been, one of the Marauders.  
  
They were eating. Peter, as usual, was shoveling food into his mouth and grabbing more food with his other hand. Remus picked daintily on the red meat on his plate, but James and Sirius were eating quickly and planning some diabolical scheme to somehow ruffle McGonagall's poise in Transfiguration class. They tried for seven years, but never managed to embarrass or fluster that excellent woman once. Remus used to warn them that they would get indigestion talking about committing evil acts while eating, but that had never stopped them either.  
  
Sirius could see his younger self finish his food quickly, but still neatly, and race out of the Great Hall, followed closely by James. The two of them had lived their youth rushing to get nowhere fast. If he listened closely, he could hear James cry, "Wait up, Sir, I'm right behind you!" Yes, they'd always been together until that terrible Halloween.  
  
Walking out of the Great Hall, Sirius was assaulted by a wave of images. There was the suit of armor Peter had banged into when they were sneaking out in the middle of the night. That was the spot where Remus slipped on some spilt water. It had been amusing to see the normally graceful werewolf fall so suddenly, especially since the only other times he stumbled he was recovering from the full moon, and that wasn't funny at all. And there was always James, laughing, peering at him from around corners, making funny faces.  
  
Down the corridors, there were the secret passages. He could see Remus enchanting the map, marking the ways out they had found. And then there was Peter, helping to find the spells to mark people and all sorts of beasts and creatures. They didn't want to see each spider on the map but they did want to know where Mrs. Norris was. Moreover, Sirius had said he was damned if he would show up on the map and Remis wouldn't. And James, brilliant James, whose brainchild the map was in the first place. He wondered if his best friend could somehow see his son using it so many years later.  
  
Ah, the nook next to the painting of an Augurey moaning. That had been a favorite spot for Harry's parents. Many was the time he had caught them snogging there. And of course Remus, Peter and he had pulled some mean pranks on the two lovebirds.  
  
As if Remus had heard his thoughts, his werewolf lover said calmly, "We were terrible, weren't we? But they asked for it. After the first time it was their mistake to use the same place."  
  
Sirius didn't jump at the voice, even though he hadn't realized Remus was still behind him. But subconsciously he had known that his lover was close- by. They were never far apart now if they could help it. Too many years of forced separation.  
  
Walking through classrooms, the two men were reminded of the thousands of pranks played by innocent boys in those very rooms. Laughter had been such an integral part of their lives then, but now there were times when they wondered if they even remembered how to laugh anymore.  
  
That was James' place for his cauldron; those were the desks shared by the Marauders and that was the chair where a sixteen-year-old boy scratched the initials RL and SB, in a large heart. That was the place at the back of the Dark Arts classroom where Remus tried to meld into the wall because they were studying werewolves. He had been trying so hard to hide that he made himself quite conspicuous. If his best friends hadn't already cottoned on to the truth, they would definitely have known then. Transfiguration reminded them of James' crowning glory, when he transfigured Snape's hair into coils of snakes. Even twelve years in Azkaban hadn't made Sirius forget the sound of his nemesis squeal like a pig.  
  
Eventually Remus and Sirius arrived at the door to Gryffindor. The Fat Lady had been instructed to let them in without a password, and she complied with only one murmur of how she had never…  
  
Stepping into the common room, Sirius heard Remus give a sigh. It was his first time there, and although Sirius had come several times to get Scabbers, this was the first time he could stop to look around, and remember.  
  
There was the comfortable couch where he and Remus had had their first kiss. He closed his eyes but still saw the young boy with the face dominated by huge hazel eyes, legs tangled with his.  
  
*  
  
"Sirius, why don't you wait until Snape pulls something before you do anything else? I think you're hurting his feelings. And don't laugh, Snape does have feelings too. And another thing, after the prank spree you've been on the last few weeks I think people will start thinking you're the bully if you do any more."  
  
Young Sirius' head shot up. "Are you calling me a bully? I'll show you bullying." With that he twisted around and flung himself onto Remus, tickling the smaller boy thoroughly. While Remus normally had the strength of the wolf to throw Sirius off him, it was close to the full moon and he was very ticklish. Sirius had quickly learned how to incapacitate his friend quickly.  
  
Remus wiggled wildly, giggling and gasping for help. But James, Peter and the other Gryffindors just enjoyed the sight of seeing their normally reserved friend relax.  
  
The tickling turned into a mock wrestling match, and they soon lost their audience since such tussles between Marauders had become commonplace to the point that if they wrestled on the floor others would pick up their chessboards at the right time without batting an eye or taking their eyes of their games. Mock growls and threats punctuated the sweaty but light- hearted battle, until Sirius won.  
  
Holding Remus' hands over his head and pressing his legs down with his own, Sirius was splayed over his friend's body, their faces inches apart. Looking into hazel eyes, Sirius hoarsely proclaimed his victory.  
  
"Yes, you won," Remus whispered, so close that his breath washed against Sirius' mouth.  
  
"What do I get?" Sirius asked, settling on the warm body, hands releasing Remus'; one to tangle in brown hair and the other to cup the pale, thin face.  
  
Remus smiled slightly, his own hands clutching Sirius' shoulders. The couch was between them and the rest of the room, so no one could see them, and the werewolf cast aside all inhibitions. He decided to end the months of shy glances and casual touches and bring their feelings out into the open. Instead of answering, he closed hie eyes and raised his mouth until millimeters separated them.  
  
The invitation was clear. Sirius slowly lowered his head until he felt those soft, moist lips. It was a close-mouthed kiss, almost chaste and innocent.  
  
Turning his head slightly, Sirius moved his lips on Remus'. Instinctively, Sirius brought his tongue to lick Lupin's lips, and the smaller boy opened his mouth for him. Sirius' tongue slipped in to the moist, warm cavity behind Remus' teeth, to be met with another tongue. Breaths shortened and hands moved to caress. They learned to duel, to imitate the act of love with their mouths, until finally their oxygen ran low.  
  
As they separated, they became aware of the silence in the room. They didn't know how long they had been snogging, but apparently it was long enough to garner the attention of each and every Gryffindor student at Hogwarts. They were surrounded by a group of stunned friends, foremost of who was James Potter.  
  
No one knew quite how to break the silence, except for uninhibited, loving James, who suddenly broke out into laughter. He wasn't being mean but his laughter was infectious, and soon the common room was echoing with the laughter of a hundred odd adolescents, including Sirius and Remus. But even as they laughed, they caught each other's eyes and both came to an intimidating realization. Nothing would ever be the same again.  
  
*  
  
"Oy space-brain! Where were you?" Sirius snapped to attention. Remus was standing in front of him, waving his hand in front of his face.  
  
"Space-brain?" Sirius repeated, confused.  
  
"Sorry, too much time in America trying to recruit Dark Creatures for our side last summer. But seriously, and don't say it! Where were you?"  
  
"Nowhere, just back in time. Remember that couch?"  
  
Remus turned around, and looked at the couch for a minute in silence. Then he swiveled to give Sirius a very mischievous grin.  
  
"What do you have in store for me, cub?" Sirius couldn't keep the smile out of his voice.  
  
"Well, puppy, it occurs to me that if the couch throws you a little out of balance, I can't wait to see what the bedroom does to you." Leaving his lover with his mouth hanging open, the werewolf rushed towards the stairs.  
  
Laughing, Sirius followed Remus to the room where they had spent their fifth year at Hogwarts, and where Sirius had passionately and gently initiated Remus to the wonders of making love. They reached Remus' old bed. Since it was the summer, there were no sheets on the bed, and the curtains were folded up on the rail. As Sirius dived onto the bed, Remus calmly pulled the curtains down and closed them tight.  
  
Sirius stopped laughing and sobered. With the curtains closed, the air was still and there was not a sound to be heard but the harsh, heavy sound of their breathing. Against the deep red color of the drapes, Remus' face seemed especially luminous and his eyes stood out warm and hazel. Blushing slightly, the werewolf slowly opened his robe, one tie at a time.  
  
There, in the middle of the afternoon, they used magic more powerful than any time-turner invented by the most powerful of wizards. They used their memories and their love of each other to step back and re-enact the day they became mates. Despite years of experience, that day they fumbled and bumped as much as they had that first night. Nails scratched and noses banged into each other. And when he entered him, Remus quietly but firmly bit Sirius on the shoulder over the old bite, marking him again as his. The pain and anguish of the past seventeen years was exorcised in that small bed, forever was promised and as they relaxed in each other's arms, forgiveness was finally granted.  
  
"How did we do it? Sirius asked. "How did you suspect me for twelve years, how could I ever think you were a traitor without any proof, how could Peter actually be a traitor, and how could James leave?"  
  
Burrowing into the warm body under him, Remus whispered into Sirius' chest. "I don't know how James could leave, but if I remember Prongs well, I think he fought to be with us as much as he could. And if I live to be a hundred I won't ever be able to understand Peter's actions." Feeling Sirius shudder, Remus raised his head and kissed away his lover's tears. "No, no love. Don't cry. This is not the time for hate. Let's not be prisoners to dark emotions anymore, please."  
  
"You still haven't answered my first two questions."  
  
Remus sighed. "I didn't, did I? I was reading a Muggle book the other day. It's called Nine Coaches Waiting, by Mary Stewart, and it's about a conspiracy to kill a young boy who is the heir to a fortune, masterminded by the boy's uncle Leon. Meanwhile, Leon's son Raoul and the boy's nanny Linda fall in love. But they don't know if each other is involved, and Raoul has to come to terms with the fact that his father is capable of murder. He called trying to make yourself realize the possibility that someone you cared about is involved in a murder plot a "damnable exercise," and that's what it was for all of us. I didn't tell anyone about Padfoot despite the threat to Harry, you didn't have me exposed as a werewolf even when you thought I was a traitor and we're both here now. That's all that matters, Padfoot. Forget the betrayal. Close your eyes and pretend for a minute that you can hear the snoring of our roommates. Can you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What do you hear?"  
  
"I hear them: Peter, James, Jonas and Adwyn. They're sleeping."  
  
"You hear fifteen-year-old boys. Younger than Harry, Sirius. Children, and it's all right to love children, whatever they become later. Remember the children, Sirius, and remember us here. There's nothing in between. Nothing but ghosts, to test what we have. And since we're right where we began, I'd say we passed."  
  
THE END 


End file.
